TOP TEN SINGLES 2009

1. The Lonely Island feat. T-Pain "I'm On a Boat" (Universal)
2. Animal Collective "Brother Sport" (Domino)
3. Mariah Carey "Ribbon" (Island)
4. Grasshopper "Death Compass" (No Label)
5. Cold Cave "Life Magazine" (Heartworm/Matador)
6. Cam'ron "Cookin' Up" (Diplomat/Asylum)
7. Eat Skull "Cooking A Way To Be Happy" (Siltbreeze)
8. Young Money Fam "Every Girl" (Cash Money)
9. Cryptacize "Mythomania" (Asthmatic Kitty)
10. Oneida "Brownout in Lagos" (Jagjaguwar)

TOP TEN RECORDS 2009

1. The-Dream, Love vs. Money (Def Jam/Radio Killa)
2. Jason Crumer, Walk With Me (Misanthropic Agenda)
3. Acidic Jews, Clean Rigs (self-released)
4. Aaron Dilloway, Chain Shot (Hanson)
5. Atlas Sound, Logos (Kranky)
6. Halflings, Self Esteem (RRRecords)
7. Nancy Garcia, Be The Climb (Ecstatic Peace!)
8. John Wiese, Circle Snare (No Fun)
9. Aquarelle, Slow Circles (Rest + Noise)
10. Ascites, Incisional Drainage (self-released)

It's hard to believe now, but there was a time, not so long ago, when I was constantly updating this blog! There was so much to be said, and so much time to say it, somehow. Man! What happened?

Copies of Assembling The Lord, my poetry chapbook, remain available here. Buy one! Hell, buy three. They make great stocking stuffers for people you don't like very much. And they're cheap! And I will totally sign your copy if we ever meet, in person, like normal people.

Friday Night Noise: Richard Ramirez & Dead Machines.

"It all adds up to a thoroughly adequate result that's nonetheless enjoyable if you consider that Destruct is little more than a loss-leader cog in a painfully cynical merchandizing campaign that shows no signs of slowing anytime soon." - from a review of 50 Cent's new CD, from Clevescene.

"I can count the number of people who have seen me flossing in my Primo Uomo on one hand, because it's only been in my possession for a few weeks. As of this writing, I'm unsure whether it's more depressing that this suit retails for more than my first car--1982 Ford Mustang, busted radio, totally decrepit--or that my mother bought it for me as an early Christmas present this year after I spent a decade and change successfully procrastinating the purchase." -From "Sharp-Dressed Man," a piece I wrote that appears in this week's Baltimore City Paper

What an asshole, right? (I've written up non-current songs tons of times, and this is the first time he calls me on it?) But at least now I know that somebody besides my City Pages editors actually reads 5ingles every week.

FRIDAY NIGHT NOISE: Werewolf Jerusalem & Lightning Bolt.

CD REVIEW: Julian Casablancas, "Phrazes for the Young"

From today’s Clevescene:

Julian Casablancas
Phrazes for the Young
(RCA)

Ah, advice: almost always directed towards the young yet so rarely solicited. In proffering received-albeit-stylized wisdom of his own, Julian Casablancas' motives aren't entirely altruistic: his saving-rawk-in-the-aughts Strokes haven't been a going concern for a couple years now. Phrazes for the Young represents Jules' attempt to keep his fire stoked and demonstrate his versatility, and all things considered, it's reasonably successful. If it's new-wave sparkle-spackle you're after, check out epic synth orgasm "11th Dimension" and the treadmilling, Dirty Harry-channeling "Out of the Blue." Gerry Rafferty-indebted co-minglings of dour childhood remembrance and cougar maligning? See "Left & Right in the Dark." A gospel-tinged blues that erupts into a metal-lite cataclysm? "4 Chords of the Apocalypse" invites you to testify. As for the quality of Casablancas' advice, it doesn't get much deeper than "Don't be shy, oh no/At least deliberately," but it doesn't really need to.

At some point in the very near future, I'll start running lists of favorite songs and albums from 2009 here, but for now, enjoy this online mixtape, which is hardly an exhaustive statement of recent aural pleasures but is, at least, somewhat representative.

A Friday Night Noise rant that'll probably make a lot of people angry. Any bets on that action?