I’m not dead

Not literally, anyway. But I’ve been a bit of a phantom, and will probably continue to be a phantom, because - drum roll - I can’t do online stuff at work anymore. Riot act has been read. So if I don’t reply to something you sent me right away or post on your blog or pop up on message boards (probably won't in the ILM singles/albums polls for 2009) for a while, there’s a reason why. I barely have time to catch my breath at this point. I barely have time to write, and a lot of times when I do, the amount of stress (self-induced and otherwise) is almost creatively crippling.

A lot of you know that I’ve prayed more lately than I ever have before in my life, and those of you who didn’t know that know why I would pray this hard. (For any number of reasons, I'm not going to come out and say what I mean. You can read between the lines, Hey, I just bought a new issue of Paste the other day!) I’m itching for a new, improved paradigm that results in happiness for me and my family, where there’s time and energy and resources for all of us to actually enjoy our lives. Life is too short to spend ridiculous amounts of time doing stuff that I have no passion for; I've already blown too many years that way.

So here’s to fingers crossed, to prayers offered, to a paradigm that’s way, way better than the one I’m trapped in now - which, with every passing day, feels more like a prison camp than real life. Bear with me.