Edward Cullan as Dylan McKay, Bella Swan as Kelly Taylor, Jacob Black as Brandon Walsh, if you fall into my age demographic and just can't be bothered with werewolves or vampires or mopetastic indie-rock soundtrack tie-ins or, you know, Alaska. Your loss. I liked how the first movie in the series seemed to realize how ridiculous and far-fetched it was even as it poker-faced its way though the intensities of eternal love, and something about that incredulity really endeared it to me; now one gets the sense that the stakes are too high for that kind of meta-play. Still: bitten, smitten, and I get why this series is a trending topic. I'm on Edward's team, I voted for Obama, just leave me alone, will ya? B+
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