Wednesday, March 11, 2009

TV LOVES YOU BACK MARCH: "From Nothing to Something and Back to Nothing"


By THOM HAWKINS

"Television is one of the major triumphs of applied science. Unfortunately, it is the fate of great inventions that as they become more and more an integral part of our daily life, they are taken increasingly for granted and cease to evoke the sense of wonder they really deserve."

JERRY
I told you about Laura.. The girl I met in Michigan--

GEORGE
No you didn't!

JERRY
I thought I told you about it. Yeah, she teaches Political Science; I met her the night I did the show in Lansing.

"Most electrons spend the vast majority of their existence as nuclear satellites."

GEORGE
Ha!

JERRY
[looking in the cream pitcher] There's no milk in here. What is the story, what is the--why is there no milk-- [GEORGE is talking over him]

"Television begins and ends with light. Light from a bank of lamps shines on the actors in the studio and is reflected from them. Entering the camera, it is focused and forms an image on the light-sensitive surface of the camera tube. At the receiving end light is transmitted from the viewing screen to your eye."

GEORGE
So wait, wait, wait! What is she--what is she--What is she like!

"The unique feature of television is the virtually instantaneous conversion of a complicated visual image into an electric current, and vice versa."

JERRY
Oh, she's, really great. She's got like a real warmth about her an' she's really bright an' really pretty, an', uh. An' the conversation, though, I mean, it was... You know, talking with her, it was like talking with you. But, you know, obviously, much better.

GEORGE
Oh, mm--what--what happened?

"The television camera establishes the speed and accuracy of television communications. The camera scans the whole picture 30 times a second; it scans each line in about 50 millionths of a second; it recognizes as many as 7 million changes in light intensity every second. At this tremendous pace it manages to divide each picture into some 200,000 picture dots and to do it with enough accuracy to place each dot in its proper position among tens of thousands of others and to specify the brightness within a few per cent of its original value in the studio image."

JERRY
Oh, nothing happened, you know, but it was great.

Quotes from The Physics of Television by Donald G. Fink and David M. Lutyens, 1960.

Script from Seinfeld episode "Good News, Bad News"

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